Saturday, December 26, 2020 –
On this day after Christmas, I want to take a moment to briefly answer the question of how to keep people from leaving your parish. You see, dear reader, we left a parish in the middle of COVID (for good reason), and we found and transferred to an amazing parish too.
Why did we leave our last parish? Well, I got sprayed in the face with hand sanitizer and we were told by the incoming Pastor that we should not receive on the tongue because it made people “uncomfortable.” He also told us “Latin is not a language,” and seemed quite perturbed when Mr. Flusche pointed out that it is STILL the official language of the Church. That, or Father New Pastor was perturbed when Mr. Flusche said, “people desecrating the Blessed Sacrament with their slimy-sanitizer hands makes me uncomfortable.”
Ehh…who know what perturbed new Pastor-Father the most, but the end of the story is that we shook the dust off our sandals and left the place that no longer wanted us.
Why is this important? Well, turns out many (MANY!!!) families followed us out the door. We had a couple friends who stuck it out long enough to get a parish email asking if anyone had ideas on how to “engage parishioners” better so they would not leave.
Now that I’ve let my jets cool a few months, I can honestly answer that question without landing myself in the confessional.
Do you really want to know how to keep your parishioners? DO…NOT…DESECRATE…THE…EUCHARIST!
Also, stop making endless and ever-changing hoops for people to jump through just to get to Mass. LET…PEOPLE…COME…TO…GOD!
Seriously, stop making everyone stand in line to get a ticket to be escorted to a specific pew while washing them down from head to toe with sanitizer. Look! We do NOT need the Church telling us to stay away from our beloved Lord. The government has that job down pretty well right now. What the Church ought to be doing is telling people come on over! Yes, enter God’s house and spend some time with Him in the Blessed Sacrament. Your eternal salvation is worth more than anything this earth has to offer. BE…NOT…AFRAID!
Our new parish has this awesome idea of personal responsibility. They do not force you to come, but they also do not stop you. You can sit next to someone or not. Hey! They are super pro-choice about whether or not you want a pew buddy. Our Priests wonderfully put God in perspective of this whole pandemic mess: GOD…IS…FIRST…BECAUSE…HE…LOVES…US!
Contrast our experience at our new parish with our previous one regarding the Eucharist: we all kneel to receive Communion on the tongue, which is a tried-and-true method the Church has used for a couple thousand of years! We do NOT slather ourselves with hand sanitizer, smearing Christ all over our wet, sloppy hands. That is not to say you cannot use hand sanitizer. Go for it! BUT, do NOT then put your slippery, wet paws all over our Lord.
So, there you have it! If you want to retain (and even GROW!) your parishioner base, do not treat us like diseased leppers who are going to murder your positive vibes. Treat us as children—creations!—of God who deserve your love and respect. And, most importantly, treat your God with the undying love and respect He deserves!
Sanctae Perpetua et Felicitas, orate pro nobis!
