Saturday, August 8, 2020 –
Have I ever told you all about Thaddeus? If yes, sorry for the repeat. If no, buckle up! You are about to hear another crazy cat story.
Once upon a time I was teaching 3rd grade CCD up at Church. Class went as planned and I packed up to head home and eat dinner with Mr. Flusche. Upon exiting the building I see some of the upper class students (don’t ask…there was / is this complicated system of dividing the children into different time slots based on age regardless if a parent has multiple kids in multiple grade levels. #SMH) milling about behind the Church. This was when we were located in the old motorsports warehouse, so milling about wasn’t that out of the ordinary.
Anyhoo, as I am walking to my car with my class bin rolling along behind me, I hear one of my former students say, “come on fluffy! Come to Church!” I stop and turn around to see a parade of students filing into the building with a small, fluffy THING trailing along behind them.
I did what any traddy CCD teacher would do: I admonished the students to get thee to class and scooped up whatever fluff ball was being coaxed into the back of Church and shoved it in my car. Then it dawned on me that I probably should have checked what said fluff ball was actually made of. I mean, I **could** have just put anything from a giant rat to a small hyena in my car…??
Well, what was done was done. I shooed the students into the building and braced myself to open my car door. Up pops a little fuzzy head attached to the world’s largest fluffy tail and out pops a resounding, “MEOW-WOW!”
Yes, “MEOW-WOW!” Not “meow,” or “mew,” or anything normal for cats, but:
Thankfully the previously undetermined fluff ball was indeed a cat. A ultra-furry, insanely friendly, dirt-covered, unrealistically loud cat.
I decided to drive kitty home, clean him up, and see about taking him to a vet or shelter the next day to check if he was chipped because no street cat is ever that friendly. So, he purred all the way home, interspersed with his signature, “MEOW-WOW!”
Did I mention he was friendly…and LOUD?
Sadly, he had no owner chip information anywhere in his tiny body or ginormous fluffy tail. Which was apparently just fine with Mr. Flusche, who fell madly in love with the little booger and started carrying him around like a baby kangaroo in his sweater. So, we named him Thaddeus and with our little family he has stayed.
He sings the song of his people daily…and nightly. He deposits insane amounts of fur in every crevice of our home. He has never learned to properly meow. He still has the world’s largest tail.
Why tell you all this?
Well, Thaddeus also has one other quality that I truly wish he would stop: panic-vomiting.
Our whole house is wood and tile flooring, save for the three door mats we have to wipe our feet. It is beautifully easy to clean!
Unfortunately, Thaddeus makes it his mission in life to throw up on ONLY the three rugs. Literally, the ONLY three rugs in our house and literally the ONLY thing that cannot just be wiped clean with a Clorox wipe!
Yesterday, I came home from Mass to find vomit on all three rugs. Congratulations, Thaddeus! You finally hit the trifecta. I also found vomit streaked through the entire house because he managed to hit each rug before the downstairs robot came through to clean.
It was a lesson in patience and avoiding anger. I guess the good Lord thought I needed to work on those issue. LOL!
So, if anyone wants a fluffy, adorable, crazy cat…of who am I kidding? He can stay. That tail is just too darn fluffy and cute!
Heart of Jesus, in whom dwells the fullness of divinity, have mercy on us.