Day 46 – Am I Seeking Praise? Or, Am I Just Jealous?

Friday, May 1, 2020 –

How many of you remember group projects in school? Rather, do you remember the old dynamics: one person does the work, one person takes the credit, the others just sort of sit there along for the ride. I was always the kid who did the work. I did not mind the work. It meant that I was in control of the grade. I put in the time and got my “A”…always.

It is a little harder in life, though. It seems like everything is one, giant, ongoing group project. I still put in the work, but I do not get that happy “A,” that positive reinforcement from an authority figure that recognizes my long hours.

I know that the proverbial “gold star” is a bit childish, but it is nice to know they still exist. It is wonderful to get that boost of “good job!” or a thank you from someone. Hey, today I got brownies and gift card, and I am not sure what I did, but it felt super. (Thanks, Team Pita!! ♥)

Besides, TV growing up led me to believe we all have these magical records that keep tabs on all of our bad actions and good works. If I had my tin-foil hat on, I would probably write a whole post on that. Alas, my hat is at the cleaners today.

Anyhow, back to seeking praise…

A while back someone took credit for something I said and did, and I mean REALLY took credit. Like, this project was posted online and in print, and strangers in far-off places gave them money and stuff. That kind of credit.

When I first saw the fallout, I had a gut reaction of “fork that!” I am told this is a perfectly normal, even human reaction. However, after I calmed down, I realized my reaction didn’t sit well with me.

I recognize that I got mad and a wee bit jealous, but then I asked myself, “self, what are you really upset about?” Was I mad that the person took credit? Was I jealous they got the attention instead of me?

When it came down to it, I realized I was just being petty, and frankly not very Christian.

It wasn’t a novel idea or anything, so I honestly did not deserve credit for that. I’m sure that millions of people had the same thought or action, so me getting credit for this was out of line. I did something that other people do all…the…time.

It would have been nice to hear a thank you. However, if I were being honest with myself, I would need to thank the Lord for giving me talents, and all the people who also had the same idea, and the people who helped form who I am, and the workers who helped get the stuff I needed for the project, and basically the whole world and everyone who ever lived on this blue marble.

Likewise, I realized that being the center of attention might make me feel good for a brief moment, but that isn’t (**shouldn’t**) be the focus. Praise is fleeting. It has no bearing on why I exist, which is “to know [God], to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in heaven.”

If all I care about is getting that gold star, then I am not honoring the Lord. That brief “feel good” moment is directed inward, and the work that was done was not done for the greater glory of God. It was done for selfish accolades.

Again, it is part of our human nature to want a thank you. Likewise, it is a very human response to get upset when others take credit. I am told that I am a human on occasion, so I am not going to discount feelings. It is difficult to overcome those gut reactions and petty self-promoting. However, we can all strive to be better—to be better—for the Lord.

Saint Joseph the Worker, pray for us!

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