Wednesday, April 29, 2020 –
In case you did not know, defense attorneys spend about 50% of their day in court, mostly waiting on judges and clerks to stamp papers, and the other 50% of their day answering the same questions via phone calls and emails over and over and over and over. The life of a high-powered attorney is truly glamorous!
With courts out of sessions for the foreseeable future, Andrew has found himself with a massive amount of time on his hands. Haven’t we all?
With all his extra time, Andrew has been trying to make the most of it by focusing on the other “stuff” necessary to run a business: revamping his website and online presence; having his staff finally write the operating procedures they talked about three years ago; riding an insane amount on his bike trainer; and fixing some nagging bugs in his firm software. He has also been taking a class to help him create better YouTube content.
Yes, you heard me, Andrew has a YouTube channel. See it HERE.
Anyhow, Andrew’s class is in the “storytelling phase.” Currently he is learning how to turn his everyday life into fun, engaging stories. Alas, the regular day of an attorney is not Pulitzer material, and now that he is stuck doing the even more boring work of a business owner…well, let’s just say it isn’t the most compelling story ever told.
His homework a few days ago was to write a three-act story about his day. I’m probably over-simplifying Andrew’s homework, but act 1 introduces the character and problem. Act 2 presents the solution, and act 3 shows how the character’s life was changed or improved.
Andrew is totally left-brained, which is amazing for being an attorney, but not so hot for being a creative YouTube star espousing awesomeness about Virginia law. And while I am not a fantastic writer, I do have a glorious 50/50 split for right and left brain. I kid you not, I have been tested! Woot!
Since Andrew was struggling with this assignment, I stepped in to get him started with act 1: character and problem. Without further ado, I give you act 1 of “Andrew’s Ride to Freedom.” #WeNeedABetterTitle
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Andrew was trying desperately to fit into his new role in the government. He missed his old life, but “the new normal” was here to stay.
“Dystopian mother fu…”
“What are you mumbling, dear?” He barely heard his wife enter the room over his heavy breathing as he pedaled madly on his trainer, and he really wanted to finish that last thought.
“Nothing. I will be done in an hour or so.” He huffed.
As a high-priced defense attorney, Andrew was afforded many luxuries in life. He was thankful that this new normal still allowed him use of his bike trainer. The Gestapo hadn’t come for his things…yet.
And, now he even had time to use the blasted thing. Six weeks down, and Andrew was in the best shape of his life. He rode for hours and hours. Despite Nicole’s ample attempts to pile endless meals on oversized plates, Andrew was bordering on wasting away.
If he would just allow himself to stop and enjoy this new life, he might actually enjoy his new-found free time. He liked the biking. The daily walks with his wife were nice. He was even growing a vegetable garden and learning how to re-vamp his YouTube channel. The homework was a bit excessive at times, but Andrew was truly learning a lot!
But…that lingering, nagging feeling just wouldn’t let go. He desperately wanted to fight someone. Those were the days Andrew missed the most. The arguing, cunning, conniving, arm-twisting, client-hugging days when he donned his $1,000 suits and silk ties. He used to hate dressing in his monkey suits, but he loved—really loved—the thrill of a good win. Andrew even missed the endless phone calls.
Damn! Maybe he was going nuts.
For now, though, he was stuck pedaling on a stationary bike, riding into the faux sunset of his computer screen, and finding his new role in the government.
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Saint John the Apostle, pray for us!
